What Causes Love?

Do you ever wonder what really attracts people? I’m not talking about what makes people fall in lust or some random one nighter from the sloppy guy that met you while pretty such having “dry sex” on the dance floor. I am talking about the whole “That can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars over the fence, world series kind of love”, the kind of love that passes as a “sole mate” love where death really commences all. Well i have not, but i am envious of all who have because it seems like an amazing experience, the ultimate. But if you have experienced it, what do you think caused it?? I heard my mom say one day that she read somewhere that it’s one another’s natural (before perfume/cologne) smell. Some people literally take the term “opposites attract” to heart.

TRUE--LOVE--WAITS

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” Peter Ustinov

No one has actually proven the cause of love exactly, but of course with society today we have somehow tried to “scientifically” breakdown the reasons..

Romantic Biology

  • Research indicates that romantic attraction is actually a primitive, biologically-based drive similar to hunger or thirst. The urge for romance is what causes a person to focus on one particular individual. Therefore this biological need for romance explains why someone would willingly walk several miles for a simple hug from their loved one, or experience enormous despair in the face of later rejection.

  • Research has proven that romantic attraction activates portions of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine which is the chemical messenger associated with feelings of euphoria, cravings and even addictions. Studies have linked high levels of dopamine (and norepinephrine) to better attention spans and short-term memory, hyperactive behaviour, sleeplessness and also goal-oriented behavior. Therefore when people are falling in love they often exhibit signs of elevated dopamine levels including increased energy, less need for sleep and food, as well as highly focused attention

But there is only so much “scientific research” that i can actually take. Why does everything always have to be proven scientifically? Personally, i think that every single person reacts differently. There are a lot of factors involved. The biggest factor is one’s actual concept of the word “love” and these are some things that affect individual views..

Is Love Universal?

  1. environment you were conditioned in.
  2. your religion, each has different views.
  3. people you grew up seeing in “love”.. is it the same for everyone? I highly doubt it.
  4. the type of gender you like.. who is to say straight and gay people react the same way?
  5. extent you give yourself away to someone (some people, even when married and in love for years, still aren’t themselves around the person).
  6. and most importantly, everyone doesn’t have the same definition for the word L-O-V-E, love to one person can be completely wrong compared to another.

Mentally We Confuse Love For Lust Often

But some say you can learn to love someone, after being friends and getting to be comfortable around each other. But there has to be some point in which a “zing” happens that makes you go, “wow, this is my soul mate”.. and what is that “zing!?!?”. No one had actually been able to prove it. The act of “falling in love”, to me, is completely NOT universal. Going back to the factors i presented, everyone is conditioned differently and therefore reacts differently to humans and the emotions that follow along with that. But i am also pretty curious if there is something that “scientifically” links the way we feel for one another with some sort of chemical reaction that occurs in the body. But so far, i see everything to be completely mental.. yes, mental. Because people claim that they are so in love with someone and couldn’t LIVE without them until they die. They claim that “zing” went through them and they know that they have found their ultimate sole mate. But it’s funny how marriages are pretty much hit or miss these days with divorce rates SOARING and people deciding they would rather be friends or not even talk years or even months later! To me, i don’t see that as love. I see that as someone confusing lust for something greater due to anticipation that society pressures us into today, that’s why i think so many people are in a hurry to jump into a relationship.. to almost “force” love to occur, which is rarely the outcome.

Everyone is Predestined for Another Human

At the end of the day, yes, i do believe there is ONE single person for everyone else in the world. And some point in your life you do find them, whether 12 or 99.. it is destined to occur. I am curious whether there is a scientific occurrence where certain types of people are biologically compatibly made for each other (and no i do not believe in astrological signs). To a certain extent, i do believe that. It’s a constant race everyone is running and i believe it is the only reason to live. What is a life without love? What is a life without someone to share it with and compare thoughts and emotions? Boring, that’s what. I see people in love everyday, and it’s far more than anything i have ever experienced so far in my eighteen years of living.

You can spend your life finding your dream job, making loads of money, or saving the world. And even though i haven’t experienced it, i fully believe that LOVE is what makes the heart grow fond, nothing material. At the end of the day, our jobs can piss us off, leaving us in a bad mood. Same thing that people can do to you. But if there is love, there is an attraction that understands where the other person is coming from and everything easily smooths out.. right? Well I’m not completely sure, but i hope so. Love is what i am living for and i am enjoying the journey on my way to find it..

22 Comments

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22 responses to “What Causes Love?

  1. three words in response to your blog entry… “love is blind.” Does that bring more questions? hope not…

    I dont think you can define it. when it comes it will hit you like a brick.

    Anyway, I found your blog through the wordpress tag thingy… under happiness.

    I am just trying to connect with people… Building a community and discussing stuff..

    justin @e9u.com is my email and http://www.e9u.com is my blog.

  2. yeah right.. love.. cannot be defined ;)

  3. michelle

    this didn’t help me whatsoever.

  4. 6race3 n3al

    What happens when you feel zing for some one and they dont feel zing back? Falling in love hurts very much

  5. naty

    O amor e algo inesplicavel mas ningem sera feliz sem amar ou ser amado o amor muitas vezes significa dor e sofrimento mas por que? porque vc ama mas aquela pessoa que vc ama ñ te a minima pissa em vc e vc se magoua chora por uma pessoa que ñ merre-se suas lagrimas poriso ñ demonstre para ñ sofre palavra de quem já passou porriso ñ gostaria de ver nem minha pior inimiga pasar poriso daria o maior spoio para ela pois sei ador que ela está passando . bjssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. naty

    O amor e algo inesplicavel mas ningem sera feliz sem amar ou ser amado o amor muitas vezes significa dor e sofrimento mas por que? porque vc ama mas aquela pessoa que vc ama ñ te a minima pissa em vc e vc se magoua chora por uma pessoa que ñ merre-se suas lagrimas poriso ñ demonstre para ñ sofre palavra de quem já passou porriso ñ gostaria de ver nem minha pior inimiga pasar poriso daria o maior spoio para ela pois sei ador que ela está passando . bjssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lia

  7. Andy

    So have you found love as yet?

  8. isabel

    i fell in love with a man who i met 2 years ago,but rejected him the first day,and his persistence of me,is what kept me continuing with him, and now i am crazy in love for him,,i ask myself how did this happen,

  9. Anonymous

    “love is blind”..i dont believe in this definition of love because at the first place you have already see him and then it comes to your mind then later on you will realize that you love him/her..then how can everyone say’s that “love is blind’?..actually you know already what to do but then you ignore it..then let your feelings rule over your mind..

  10. irene may

    “love is blind”..i dont believe in this definition of love because at the first place you have already see him and then it comes to your mind then later on you will realize that you love him/her..then how can everyone say’s that “love is blind’?..actually you know already what to do but then you ignore it..then let your feelings rule over your mind..

  11. Michael Robertson

    why can’t one thing just be a thing that happens and not science. I mean yeah we get hormones that make us excited around them, but do scientist believe love is just a thing your brain implants in you, so you continue your genes. I believe love and science don’t go together.

  12. Waseem

    i think love is due to similiteries and passing more time with anyone.

  13. I think love is a result purely on our environment.
    Take a look at small communities that have for many years married within their community and in love, and these small communities may hold a few 100 people. It’s odd how they can find their ‘soulmate’ in such a small proximity.
    Also, if a person has gone through a lot and feels alone in this world, it is only normal to want to feel loved and taken care of, so when a person then says the right things, is that love?
    Personally I feel love to be an emotion associated with extreme thankfulness.
    I once had a tumour on my brain which caused enormous headaches. After the pain was gone by means of surgery and I came round, I felt euphoria, and for a moment the doctor close to me was my guardian angel. Now I did not love this person, but I can tell you that the feeling I got was like walking on clouds and like I could hug this person and never let go. Because I was thankful.
    When a person needs another human touch more than ever, and they meet someone that is there for them, understands them, and cares for them, they are likely to fall in love.
    There was a need and that need was fulfilled. This would cause one to be thankful.
    I believe that our brains misinterpret an emotion and register it as love.

  14. Hector Rodriguez

    To me, love is purely something that we humans have designated as our own. If you look at anything in the animal world, even something like a mother dog caring for her puppies is something that they NEED to do, because where would those puppies get their milk from, or learn how to hunt? They need that mom, and she knows it because deep inside, she has the instinct to care for them, but its only because withoutt that instinct, the dog species wouldn’t have existed for a month. We humans, as a seemingly fragile species, also need a parent to care for us cause without that parent we couldn’t survive. Now, with us being sentient and all, we have over-exxagerated emotions because with us, there is more to it than just living. We seek to thrive in life rather than just settle with wht we got and just stay like that, so essentially love is to me a very unessecary thing. So that also means to me, that there isn’t someone for everyone out there, its just a matter of whether your lucky or not

  15. Anonymous

    Thank you for this. I agree! What is life without love? EVerything else is all well and good until the one comes along. I have found ‘the one’ but he does not love me back. I do not feel I will ever feel capable of love again…

  16. Anonymous

    Ok, now come on, this is a bunch of crap. You hit it, then leave it. That’s how it’s really done.

  17. Anonymous

    Love is dopamine reacting to receptors in your brain, nothing more.

  18. Anonymous

    I am absolutely head over heels in love with a girl that is one third my age. I will never tell her because it’s obviously just wrong for us to be together. But I love her with all my heart, and I want nothing but happiness for her. She is an absolute angel and I don’t want her life messed up, so I’ll never tell her how I feel. I love her that much, that I would sacrifice my happiness for hers.

  19. Anonymous

    The truth about love is a gift that comes from God that we should endure the true love that comes from deep within. Love is pure, care, kindness, goodness, gentleness, understanding, and part of oath in the sight of God

  20. Sally May

    I think that I have discovered the “mysterious” source of “romantic love”. After many years of having my intense “first love” lost and inaccessible, we reestablished contact. My deep feeling of love continued but was unrequited. After quite a while I realized that my beloved’s speech pattern sounded virtually identical to that of the grandfather who had been the source of unconditional love during my growing up. Once I realized this, I understood why I experienced a “double exposure” impression of my beloved: (1.) my grandfather, (2.) what he actually was actually like. I was then able to disentangle the two and arrive at a more realistic assessment of what this person was actually like. (Not beloved by me, anymore!)

  21. anonymous

    love is a beautiful feeling. when a person love someone.. he/she gives her/his to the other person. when two persons are in love , they forhet about the world, they just want to be together forever, they don’t care about what the people will say about them. They just love each other… but when a person finds out about his/her soul mate that his/her soulmate is not really his/her “solemate” , it breaks his/her heart. he/she gets heart broken. and then he/she won’t be able to love again to any other person. so love is a beautiful thing but its a hurtfull thing also.

  22. love is pure and tender

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