Do you ever wonder what really attracts people? I’m not talking about what makes people fall in lust or some random one nighter from the sloppy guy that met you while pretty such having “dry sex” on the dance floor. I am talking about the whole “That can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars over the fence, world series kind of love”, the kind of love that passes as a “sole mate” love where death really commences all. Well i have not, but i am envious of all who have because it seems like an amazing experience, the ultimate. But if you have experienced it, what do you think caused it?? I heard my mom say one day that she read somewhere that it’s one another’s natural (before perfume/cologne) smell. Some people literally take the term “opposites attract” to heart.
“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” Peter Ustinov
No one has actually proven the cause of love exactly, but of course with society today we have somehow tried to “scientifically” breakdown the reasons..
- Research indicates that romantic attraction is actually a primitive, biologically-based drive similar to hunger or thirst. The urge for romance is what causes a person to focus on one particular individual. Therefore this biological need for romance explains why someone would willingly walk several miles for a simple hug from their loved one, or experience enormous despair in the face of later rejection.
- Research has proven that romantic attraction activates portions of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine which is the chemical messenger associated with feelings of euphoria, cravings and even addictions. Studies have linked high levels of dopamine (and norepinephrine) to better attention spans and short-term memory, hyperactive behaviour, sleeplessness and also goal-oriented behavior. Therefore when people are falling in love they often exhibit signs of elevated dopamine levels including increased energy, less need for sleep and food, as well as highly focused attention
But there is only so much “scientific research” that i can actually take. Why does everything always have to be proven scientifically? Personally, i think that every single person reacts differently. There are a lot of factors involved. The biggest factor is one’s actual concept of the word “love” and these are some things that affect individual views..
Is Love Universal?
- environment you were conditioned in.
- your religion, each has different views.
- people you grew up seeing in “love”.. is it the same for everyone? I highly doubt it.
- the type of gender you like.. who is to say straight and gay people react the same way?
- extent you give yourself away to someone (some people, even when married and in love for years, still aren’t themselves around the person).
- and most importantly, everyone doesn’t have the same definition for the word L-O-V-E, love to one person can be completely wrong compared to another.
Mentally We Confuse Love For Lust Often
But some say you can learn to love someone, after being friends and getting to be comfortable around each other. But there has to be some point in which a “zing” happens that makes you go, “wow, this is my soul mate”.. and what is that “zing!?!?”. No one had actually been able to prove it. The act of “falling in love”, to me, is completely NOT universal. Going back to the factors i presented, everyone is conditioned differently and therefore reacts differently to humans and the emotions that follow along with that. But i am also pretty curious if there is something that “scientifically” links the way we feel for one another with some sort of chemical reaction that occurs in the body. But so far, i see everything to be completely mental.. yes, mental. Because people claim that they are so in love with someone and couldn’t LIVE without them until they die. They claim that “zing” went through them and they know that they have found their ultimate sole mate. But it’s funny how marriages are pretty much hit or miss these days with divorce rates SOARING and people deciding they would rather be friends or not even talk years or even months later! To me, i don’t see that as love. I see that as someone confusing lust for something greater due to anticipation that society pressures us into today, that’s why i think so many people are in a hurry to jump into a relationship.. to almost “force” love to occur, which is rarely the outcome.
Everyone is Predestined for Another Human
At the end of the day, yes, i do believe there is ONE single person for everyone else in the world. And some point in your life you do find them, whether 12 or 99.. it is destined to occur. I am curious whether there is a scientific occurrence where certain types of people are biologically compatibly made for each other (and no i do not believe in astrological signs). To a certain extent, i do believe that. It’s a constant race everyone is running and i believe it is the only reason to live. What is a life without love? What is a life without someone to share it with and compare thoughts and emotions? Boring, that’s what. I see people in love everyday, and it’s far more than anything i have ever experienced so far in my eighteen years of living.
You can spend your life finding your dream job, making loads of money, or saving the world. And even though i haven’t experienced it, i fully believe that LOVE is what makes the heart grow fond, nothing material. At the end of the day, our jobs can piss us off, leaving us in a bad mood. Same thing that people can do to you. But if there is love, there is an attraction that understands where the other person is coming from and everything easily smooths out.. right? Well I’m not completely sure, but i hope so. Love is what i am living for and i am enjoying the journey on my way to find it..